After years abroad, coming back home—returning from expatriation—should be simple… but it often isn’t. The reverse culture shock of repatriation can complicate everything. Here’s how to overcome it.
🇫🇷 Paris, Summer 2010. Twelve recently- returned expats (“ex-expats” or “repats”) gather around a table. They come from all corners of the world 🌍. What they share is a feeling of being lost, confused, out of place. After years abroad, they struggle to reintegrate into their own country. And that day, they discover they are not alone. That it’s normal. What theu experience is typical. It’s even predictable and has a name: “reverse culture shock.”
🙋♀️ I was there too, around that table, and I had been back for 10 months, after 10 years in Japan. But I still hadn’t found my footing. I didn’t expect it. I doubted, I tried to understand what was happening. I was trying to clarify what this new chapter of my life would be, but the more I questioned, the more confused I became. I thought my international experience would be a springboard for a new chapter, but turning the page was tough. My thoughts kept drifting back to my time in Japan, and nostalgia overwhelmed me. I didn’t dare talk about it with those around me for fear of being judged or misunderstood. I kept it all to myself.
⏩ Fast forward a few years later, I can say that this difficult period was what gave me the desire to help other expats navigate it. That’s why I’m talking to you today.
Why is coming back from expatriation often so difficult? ?
You are returning to your own home-country, which you know (you speak the language!), where you’ve lived for a long time, where you have family, friends, roots… It should be easy, right? But that’s the problem! Because we assume (wrongly) “it shouldn’t be an issue,” when it becomes one, it’s worse—because we didn’t expect it, we didn’t anticipate it. We find ourselves struggling. Usually, we planned quickly our return, made some projects, but once we’ve set foot back “home”, it does not feel like home. The gap between expectations and reality is often huge, and we are taken aback. If this does not feel home, then, where is home ?
What causes this gap?
1. You’ve changed
During your time abroad, you gained countless experiences, skills, knowledge, and friendships. You’ve opened up to new perspectives, diverse realities, and ways of doing things. You are not the same person you were when you left.
2. Your country has changed
The place you return to is not the same that the one you’ve left behind. The social, political, and economic environment has evolved. Conversations have changed, new laws have been passed, once familiar neighborhoods have been transformed.
3. Your personal and professional situation has changed
Maybe you left to go abroad by yourself and are returning with a family? Or the opposite? Career changes, gaps in your CV, and shifts in your professional goals can complicate your return.
4. Your social circle has changed
Family, friends, and colleagues have evolved in your absence. They didn’t live your adventure and may not understand your perspective. This can lead to misunderstandings, even judgment.
How to successfully navigate your return? A few tips
🧘♂️ Take care of yourself and manage your stress: Just like on a plane—put on your oxygen mask first before helping others! This is true for takeoff… and for landing.
🚴♀️ Take a step back, slow down: If you are the “linchpin” of the move, managing logistics and settling in, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. But don’t forget to take breaks.
🌏 Indulge in nostalgia: Reconnect with the country you left behind—its culture, its food, its people. Keep in touch with friends from there. Build a cultural bridge between your home country and the one you left. But be mindful: if this makes you miss it even more, take a step back.
🚫 Avoid distractions: Once you’ve unpacked, resist the urge to dive into new projects (renovations, endless activities). These can become an escape from the real question: “What about me?”
⏸️ Take time to reflect: Schedule time to think about your return and your goals. Reconnect with your network, attend events, and grow your professional visibility.
📆 Give yourself time to adapt: This is a new chapter, and like any new chapter, it takes time to find your rhythm. Allow yourself to try new things and make mistakes, to rediscover what you love, what really motivates you.
✍️ Your expatriation has changed you. Understanding this is essential for moving forward. You have adopted new behaviors, new habits. Take a step back, reflect, and make sense of what this experience has brought you. But… doing it alone is difficult. As a coach who has experienced it myself, I can help you!
Bénédicte / Great Floating Tribe
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